I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize