he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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