i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Randomize