I can tuck mytits in my pants
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize