he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
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