i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
