can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Is Oprah even human
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Randomize
