accomplished twins. life is a go
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize