she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize