I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
