You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
