maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
