dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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