why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
