A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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