My room smells like vodka and shame
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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