...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
