you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Randomize
