smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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