Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
