My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Randomize
