what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
