The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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