Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
