I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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