And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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