what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize
