I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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