We're like a lot better than the average bears
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
