the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
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