we're chasing vodka with high fives
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize