the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
There r osticjed everywhere
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Randomize
