I hate your face
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
