Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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