if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Randomize
