I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Randomize
