Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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