You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Randomize
