so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
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