Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
