i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
