He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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