based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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