Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Randomize
