WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize