i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
