Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
