sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Randomize
