Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
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