i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Randomize
