Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Randomize
