i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize
