fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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