I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
