Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
