So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
you inspire me to be a worse person
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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