Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
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