she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
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