Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
