I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
