i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
