At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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