and she was petting her beer can
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
