Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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