I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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