she was so not down for the gang bang
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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