I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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