he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
She's the barista slut.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize