Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
