I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Randomize
