You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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