I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
