hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
