currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Randomize
