There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
