Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Randomize
