Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
